Melissa George is no Angel

 

Home and Away actress Melissa George has never heard of the expression, “you can run but you can’t hide.” She has been reminded of her Summer Bay past twice in the space of a few days and abruptly brought the interviews to a close both times.

The first instance happened when Melissa George spoke to Christine Sams, entertainment writer for Sydney’s Sun-Herald, when the subject of her former life came up.

“I don’t need credibility from my country any more, I just need them all to be quiet,” the Supernanny said.

“If they have nothing intelligent to say, please don’t speak to me any more. I’d rather be having a croissant and a little espresso in Paris or walking my French bulldog in New York City” instead of having a vanilla slice at Summer Bay High’s canteen, one assumes.

“I’ve got to be honest. I’m not going to be a good Aussie any more. I’m going to speak out. I’ve just had it. It’s disgusting.”

Victoria’s Secret: Candace Swanepoel and the big eating disorder lie

The Victoria’s Secret annual fashion show is quite possibly the biggest televised event of its kind in the world. The lingerie showcase is broadcast to millions all over the world and is watched by arguably millions more on the web.

As well as the glitter, trademark wings, one inevitable supermodel bouncing back after popping out a kid, showing off her post-baby bod in all its toned glory and special musical guest to mix things up a bit – this year being renowned pothead Rihanna – the Victoria’s Secret fashion shows are also characterised by “candid” shots of the supermodels being tweeted and then retweeted with a vengeance where they are shown being caught “off-guard” and always having “fun” before the show.

Of particular note this year was a pic South African stunner Candice Swanepoel who uploaded a pic on Instagram showing her ruthlessly defined, concave abs.

Hen's nights: The death of gay clubbing?

Hen’s nights are often cited as the beginning of the end. A rite of passage for many women about to be taken up the aisle, these parties signal the end of uncertainty, the end of one night stands, the end of awful dinners with men you can’t stand, and the end of dating. The other side of the coin is that hen’s nights also mark the end of casual flings, holiday romances, and not knowing who you may meet during a night out.

For many men who prefer the company of men, hen’s nights also mark the death of clubbing.

Sealed with a kiss: Rihanna and Chris Brown public reunion complete

The sad, tragic truth of the abuse cycle is this: Abuser hits victim. Victim flees. Victim returns. Repeat.

It is an unfortunate fact that people who have been the victims of abuse often go back to their abusers.

As we reported last week, Rihanna and Chris Brown were planning to be publicly reunited at the 2012 MTV VMAs, but I don’t think anyone was prepared for this.

Rihanna pines for Chris Brown

Oprah must be America’s talk show version of John Farnham. Or, for our international readers, the glam rockers KISS. One farewell tour but they can just never say die. They keep coming back again and again and again. Which likens them to Oprah, don’t you think? Is that self-obsessed, narcissistic, money-hungry, ego-driven fame whore ever going to go away?

To give credit where it’s due, Oprah does give a good interview. And gets the best interviews.

Last week, the talk show juggernaut landed an interview with Rihanna (who doesn’t mind a spliff every now and then. But don’t take my word for it. The pop star happily and regularly tweets photos of herself blowing out an unidentified smoky substance. I’m guessing she’s not smoking a Marlboro Light).

The Olympic con

I really could not care less about world records or Olympic gold medals, but put Kate Moss on stage being a fierce bitch or the Spice Girls reuniting one last time (and Posh looking so embarrassed about the whole thing), and I’m close to tears. True Olympic glory.

 The Olympics are sold to us as this noble, honourable thing. Sponsored by Coca Cola and McDonalds. For a few hundred million dollars each. The soft drink and fast food companies turned the whole event into a bit of a farce.

All the Olympics are good for now are to see all those amazing bodies and appreciate them on purely an aesthetic level. 

Athletes with bodies honed to perfection running faster or jumping higher than everyone else. That’s hardly inspiring. 

If you want true inspiration, look to the Paralympic Games. Participants who are living with a disability that are competing on a world stage. That is ten times as inspiring, but I think they would be lucky to have a tenth of the media coverage.

Scarlett Johansson gets a leg over the help (Let’s hope she doesn’t marry him)

In the movie The Prestige, Scarlett Johansson played the role of her life. She was the slutty little magician’s assistant that slept with both of the feuding illusionists. Role she was meant to play, don’t you think?

I actually like Scarlett. She’s a sexy bombshell and she also has a great work ethic for a twenty-something actress. That is, just turning up is often half the battle for some starlets.

Scarlett was spotted on a yacht off the coast of Sicily last week, sharing a towel and some bodily fluids with her bodyguard.

Scandinavian God Chris Hemsworth ends up with town bike

Chris Hemsworth is well on his way to becoming the next Hugh Jackman. His star power, down-to-earth likeability, not to mention his insane bod, saw him immediately draw millions of fans for life in his breakthrough role as Nordic god, Thor.

I hate to brag, but we do make ‘em nice Down Under.

As well as his good looks and charm, Chris matches Mr Jackman in another department: He recently became a DILF.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Chris must have women (and men) throwing themselves at him. So just how did he end up with the town bike?

Lindsay Lohan found ‘exhausted’ in hotel, world shrugs and moves on

Most starlets’ fans pray that their fave actress will be nominated for an Oscar. Lindsay Lohan’s fans just pray that she makes it through filming a movie without going to jail or dying of a drug overdose.

Lindsay was found unconscious in her hotel room over the weekend, with “exhaustion” cited as the main reason for paramedics rushing to her penthouse suite.

I put “exhaustion” in quotation marks because it has a whiff of Steven Tyler going to rehab for “sore feet”. 

Nipplegate: Madonna flashes boob, parties like it’s 1992

I promised myself I wouldn’t read any spoilers about Madonna’s No Name World Tour, and of course, I failed abysmally. I know what all her outfits are going to look like and one reason why this tour will be talked about for years. I have gleaned about 90 per cent of this tour so far, and when (if) she finally comes to Australia, I will sell my right arm, grandmother and a kidney for front row seats to her gig.

On the evening Madge stopped in Istanbul for this year’s tour, she decided to give the h8rz something to really to talk about. She flashes her tit.

Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell & Rosie Huntington-Whitely to close London Olympics

The Olympic Games haven’t even begun, and yet we still can’t wait for the formalities to be over and done with. All non-athletically minded souls will be watching the Closing Ceremony of the London Olympics for one reason. Well, three good reasons.

It has been reported that Croydon gal Kate Moss, anger management therapy advocate Naomi Campbell and hot-but-dull-as-dishwater Rosie Huntington-Whitely are set to make the Closing Ceremony of this year’s Games one of the most fashionable yet when they grace the stadium with their appearance. No one has a clue what they’ll be doing, but the good thing is, they probably have no idea either.

Just think of that after party.

Buy Cheryl Cole’s new track or she’ll do this to you

Cheryl Cole joined the greats of rock’n’roll history when she gained a criminal record. Not by being busted for drugs, or using unladylike language in public, or throwing a TV out a window. Something much more unbecoming for this chav pin-up: For beating the crap out of someone.

Back in 2003, with her British pop act Girls Aloud riding high on the success of their debut hit Sound of the Underground, convicted felon Cole felt overwhelmed by the need to punch a nightclub’s bathroom attendant in the face following a dispute about a lollipop one enchanted evening.

The then-Miss Tweedy punched one of the club’s workers, 39-year-old Sophie Amogbokpa, causing her eye to swell up for weeks.

Madonna performs Lady Gaga’s Born This Way

In the grand pecking order of the pop music scene, Madonna would be somewhere near the top. One would imagine. And all the usurpers and imitators and wannabes and never-gonna-bes were way, way, way down the pop food chain. Well, that’s the theory.

You’d think it was the second coming of Christ the day Born Thus Way was released.  Lady Gaga had just come off the back of an incredible album (The Fame Monster) and a world tour that showed she was a pop force to be reckoned with.

The thing about the Born This Way single though, was that everyone was saying how much it sounded like Madge’s 1989 smash, Express Yourself. On the day of the former’s release, Express Yourself was trending on Twitter.

Earlier this year, in the middle of her W.E promotional blitz, Madge was asked on Nightline what her thoughts were regarding Born this Way.

“It’s reductive,” Madonna said. When asked to elaborate, she told the TV host to look it up. She’s back, she’s back! the gays exclaimed. The bitch is back!

But then this happened. 

Is Facebook the Angelina Jolie of social networks?

A superior court judge in Connecticut has demanded a divorcing couple hand over the passwords of their Facebook account to the other’s lawyers. This split took place last year.

Facebook is now not only a valid ground for divorce, but posts and messages on the social media juggernaut can be used for rulings regarding child custody and alimony. Think it’s a good idea to slag off your ex on Facebook and impress your friends with your snarky wit in the form of an immaculately crafted status update? Think again. Facebook is now being used to gather evidence and as an aid in cross-examining a witness. Anything on Facebook that can be used as an argument slamming your parenting skills, drinking, drugging or even disparaging comments that disobey a court order could be used as admissible evidence in court. 

Britney loses brush, finds the fug

Anyone else experiencing déjà vu of the worst kind? We all know how this goes. First comes the messy hair. Then comes the weight gain. Starbucks overflowing Frappuccinos. Mystery food stains on the clothing. Then the shaved head. Then beating the crap out of the paparazzi with an umbrella. And then recording one of the greatest albums of her career. Her Like A Prayer moment. Oh hang on. I think I’m looking forward to the return of Trashney. 

Oddly Familiar: When new loves look like the old loves

In an old episode of Friends, Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) introduces her new fling to the gang. Thing is, the new guy bares more than a passing resemblance to her ex. Her new boy is called Russ. Her ex is called Ross. You know where I'm going with this.

Why do some of us pick partners that seem to look a little like our exes? Can we just boil this down to having a type? We may like the tall,  dark and handsome kind. Maybe all our boyfriends are tall, dark, and handsome (I should be so lucky). Or can we delve  little deeper? Maybe our ex is lodged somewhere so deep in our hearts, whether we know it or not, the next cab with the light on that resembles our favourite ride, even a little, is the one we want to take home. The love of our lives? Or is it simply a case of having a type?

Oh, Mr D'Arcy!

Imagine my (pleasant) surprise when I opened up the paper on Saturday morning and found this guy's package in my face.

Nick D'Arcy is an Australian swimmer bound for the Olympics, on the cover of Good Weekend, the supplement to the broadsheet Sydney Morning Herald. A few weeks short of the Games, any swimmer could have graced the cover of the newspaper's magazine, so why is Nick newsworthy now? And why are his broad shoulders, solid pecs and impressive bulge in Speedos on my mind today? Business as usual then.

Tilda Swinton: High Priestess of Couture (and everything else)

Tilda Swinton first came on to my radar in her portrayal of Frosty the Snow Bitch in the Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. Who is this fierce ethereal creature? I wondered. With her flawless alabaster skin, perfectly androgynous features, white-gold locks any Pantene model worth her hair product would give an arm and leg for as well as her overall whiff of insufferability, playing the Snow Bitch seemed to be a role Tilda was meant to play.

Brave New World

Hello friends.

This is the very first blog post for The Agenda.

Please be gentle, because you know what they say: a boy never forgets his first time ...