Hen’s nights are often cited as the beginning of the end. A rite of passage for many women about to be taken up the aisle, these parties signal the end of uncertainty, the end of one night stands, the end of awful dinners with men you can’t stand, and the end of dating. The other side of the coin is that hen’s nights also mark the end of casual flings, holiday romances, and not knowing who you may meet during a night out.
For many men who prefer the company of men, hen’s nights also mark the death of clubbing.
On a trip to LA a couple of years ago, I made a beeline for The Abbey, which has been voted as the best gay club in the world (probably by men who have never ventured outside the City of Angels, and almost certainly have never stepped foot outside the country. I love America, but the best gay club closest to LA is in San Francisco).
The club was flooded with hen’s nights attendees.
Now, I have no problem with women going to gay clubs. I have been to gay clubs with my straight girlfriends plenty of times. I hope gay boys always take their fag hags out for a twirl under the mirror ball. But as gay clubs are pitiful sliver of nightlife in major cities around the world, are there no other venues where slightly tipsy brides-to-be and their mates can indulge in some wobbly dancing and shouting out the lyrics to Katy Perry? Gay clubs are diminishing everywhere in the world, and if this trend continues, soon there will not be any gay clubs left.
A friend posted a Facebook status update during the weekend saying that hen’s nights had now invaded Stonewall, the last bastion of out and proud gay clubbing in Sydney. A venue that has a sign declaring it is proudly a gay venue.
The Peel, a gay club in Melbourne, recently came under fire for its strict door policy that is less-than-friendly for (straight) women.
In 2007, it became the first venue in the world to be able to legally discriminate who could and could not enter the premises.
Many straight clubs may not have the legal right to discriminate on the door, but we all know they do.
They discriminate on the number of men who are able to enter, on whether you’re wearing a collared shirt, on what kind of shoes you wear.
What do you think would happen if a gay couple approached the door of a straight megaclub holding hands? What would the reaction be from pissed straight men? The bouncers? Passers-by?
A year ago, I attended a party at Iguana Bar, a straight club in Kings Cross.
If you’re not familiar with Sydney’s Kings Cross, it is the most popular spot for young straight types to go out and get pissed. It has the highest density of nightspots anywhere in Sydney and it also happens to be the city’s red light district.
Iguana Bar features two poles for dancing and cavorting around. Not for professional dancers, just for patrons.
Only girls were allowed to work the poles. Whenever a guy got anywhere near the poles on the podium, they were tapped on the shoulder by a bouncer and told to hop off and forget about swinging a pole for the evening.
A few years ago, a gay friend of mine was having drinks with a couple of mates at Stonewall. He was feeling a bit cheeky and flirty, so from the other side of the room, he blew a kiss to a fellow he liked the look of.
Unfortunately for my mate, this guy turned out to be straight. It also turns out this was the wrong guy to air kiss, because in a fit of homophobic fury, he marched over to my mate and punched him in the mouth, knocking out a tooth and which required an urgent visit to the dentist by my friend.
This happened in a venue which clearly states it is a gay venue, on a sign out the front. This incident wasn’t a rape in the toilets. It was a cheeky gesture from the other side of the room.
I have had my arse grabbed and spanked by girls when I have previously gone to straight clubs. I ignored these and just continued having a good time with my friends.
If we can’t protect our own spaces from homophobia, violence and abuse, what can we protect?
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