Monday, 11 June 2012

Buy Cheryl Cole’s new track or she’ll do this to you



Cheryl Cole joined the greats of rock’n’roll history when she gained a criminal record. Not by being busted for drugs, or using unladylike language in public, or throwing a TV out a window. Something much more unbecoming for this chav pin-up: For beating the crap out of someone.

Back in 2003, with her British pop act Girls Aloud riding high on the success of their debut hit Sound of the Underground, convicted felon Cole felt overwhelmed by the need to punch a nightclub’s bathroom attendant in the face following a dispute about a lollipop one enchanted evening.

The then-Miss Tweedy punched one of the club’s workers, 39-year-old Sophie Amogbokpa, causing her eye to swell up for weeks.


Cole was found guilty of assault. She had to perform 150 hours of community service and pay the victim £500 in compensation.

Which just goes to show three things.

Firstly, you just don’t mess with a girl brought up on a housing commission estate.

Secondly, don’t judge a book by its cover. Cheryl looks like butter wouldn’t melt, but she won’t think twice about bashing the shit out of you.

Thirdly, the public is willing to forgive anything, provided the person in question is a babe.

This “incident” has been airbrushed out of pop music history, and no one ever talks about it. Some pop stars have been crucified for doing much less and not causing anyone harm. Cole went on to become the nation’s sweetheart, and she even found herself on the cover of British Vogue.

Cole is currently doing the promo circuit on Britain’s reality TV show circuit to spruik her new single, the Calvin Harris-produced track, Call My Name.


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