Saturday, 26 May 2012

Is Facebook the Angelina Jolie of social networks?


A superior court judge in Connecticut has demanded a divorcing couple hand over the passwords of their Facebook account to the other’s lawyers. This split took place last year.

Facebook is now not only a valid ground for divorce, but posts and messages on the social media juggernaut can be used for rulings regarding child custody and alimony. Think it’s a good idea to slag off your ex on Facebook and impress your friends with your snarky wit in the form of an immaculately crafted status update? Think again. Facebook is now being used to gather evidence and as an aid in cross-examining a witness. Anything on Facebook that can be used as an argument slamming your parenting skills, drinking, drugging or even disparaging comments that disobey a court order could be used as admissible evidence in court. 



 More than a third of divorce papers lodged last year referenced Facebook, according to a UK survey conducted last year. Over 80 per cent of lawyers in the US are seeing a rise in the social network being dragged in to divorce cases.

Internet browsing history, text messages and emails are all permissible as evidence in court in some states in the US. Speaking to the Smart Money blog, a lawyer said 60 per cent of divorceproceedings he worked in exclusively involved Facebook.

The social network has accelerated the speed at which extramarital affairs are formed. Users are witter, funnier, sexier versions of themselves online. Combine this with the fact you can ‘friend’ an old fling, high school sweetheart or former boyfriend at the click of a button and the results can be quite explosive. Users ‘friend’ someone they only met just briefly. “It puts temptation in the path of people who would never in a million years risk having an affair,” Facebook and Your Marriage author K. Jason Krafsky says.

People can upload contentious data whether they are aware of it or not, and this takes the form of a check-in somewhere, or forgetting to edit the photos where a person who is not supposed to be in there is in there when they select the Upload All function in the photos tab.

These grievances aside, Facebook’s faults are many and varied. Anyone who uses the social network could rattle off a list of things wrong with it. Not least of these is Facebook’s constantly shifting privacy settings that seem to change on a weekly basis.

When Mark Zuckerberg got hitched and changed his marital status to married, he received over one million likes from his followers. Aww, people said.

Facebook recently announced it would be adding a function to its Timeline feature that would “literally save lives”. At the click of a button, Facebookers would be able to opt-in to donate their organs (as well as telling everyone on Facebook that they were doing so).

Organ donation agencies said they noticed a spike in organ donors when the feature was made live. The work of organ donation agencies is commendable and kudos to the people that decide to donate parts of their bodies when they pass away.

However, with all of Facebook’s faults, annoyances and ever-growing bloat, is it too cynical to suggest maybe Zuckerberg and co. announced this new feature to great fanfare to clean up the social network’s image? Rarely has an addition to Facebook’s features  been heralded with so much media attention. The only time Facebook received more press coverage than this was when it went public. Why not make an announcement about the ever-changing privacy features, for example, that users have no idea are occurring and require them to enter their privacy settings and tighten up the screws a bit?

Now this is where the second half of my headline comes in.


 During the filming period of Mr and Mrs Smith, Jennifer Aniston must have known she was screwed when Angelina Jolie visited her on the set of Friends. Didn’t that strike her as a bit random? A bit unusual? Why was Ange so keen so play Happy Co-Workers? Ange was the hottest woman on the planet at that stage. 
She also had a history from stealing men from their partners. Laura Dern was engaged to Billy Bob Thornton when Ange came into the picture. And that’s just a reported case.

In a recent interview with marie claire, Jolie admitted she didn’t have many female friends. Is it any wonder? She’s the chick that would fuck your boyfriend and then never give him back.

Maybe Brad Pitt cheating on Aniston was the best thing that ever happened to her career. She gets one magazine cover story out of it at least once every six months and has to mention Brad at least once in every interview. Pitt doesn’t help, saying he was a stoner basically because was bored to death in his marriage.

Jolie’s Oscar win marked a turning point in her image. Before that, she was a weird goth chick who pashed her brother on the red carpet and carried vials of Billy Bob’s blood around her neck. Never underestimate the power of a blow-dry and a pretty frock. It can works wonders. Just ask Ange.

There’s a role Angelina Jolie needs to win another Academy award for and it’s a role she plays with as much vigour as a violinist playing a jig on his fiddle. It’s her Mother Teresa act.

Ange couldn’t possibly visit another Third World country or speak at the United Nations without camera crews to follow. True, cameras tend to follow her around like a bad smell, but surely she could do some charitable work without announcing it first? Adopting a child from every country in the world. Being a United Nations ambassador. And don’t forget Shiloh is “just a blob” to her mother.

Is it too cynical to suggest that Angelina Jolie takes part in highly publicised philanthropic and humanitarian work to clean up her own image? Facebook does not allow any of its good deeds to go unpublicised because of all its massive flaws. Perhaps it’s taking a leaf out of Jolie’s book?



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