Sealed with a kiss: Rihanna and Chris Brown public reunion complete

The sad, tragic truth of the abuse cycle is this: Abuser hits victim. Victim flees. Victim returns. Repeat.

It is an unfortunate fact that people who have been the victims of abuse often go back to their abusers.

As we reported last week, Rihanna and Chris Brown were planning to be publicly reunited at the 2012 MTV VMAs, but I don’t think anyone was prepared for this.

Rihanna pines for Chris Brown

Oprah must be America’s talk show version of John Farnham. Or, for our international readers, the glam rockers KISS. One farewell tour but they can just never say die. They keep coming back again and again and again. Which likens them to Oprah, don’t you think? Is that self-obsessed, narcissistic, money-hungry, ego-driven fame whore ever going to go away?

To give credit where it’s due, Oprah does give a good interview. And gets the best interviews.

Last week, the talk show juggernaut landed an interview with Rihanna (who doesn’t mind a spliff every now and then. But don’t take my word for it. The pop star happily and regularly tweets photos of herself blowing out an unidentified smoky substance. I’m guessing she’s not smoking a Marlboro Light).

The Olympic con

I really could not care less about world records or Olympic gold medals, but put Kate Moss on stage being a fierce bitch or the Spice Girls reuniting one last time (and Posh looking so embarrassed about the whole thing), and I’m close to tears. True Olympic glory.

 The Olympics are sold to us as this noble, honourable thing. Sponsored by Coca Cola and McDonalds. For a few hundred million dollars each. The soft drink and fast food companies turned the whole event into a bit of a farce.

All the Olympics are good for now are to see all those amazing bodies and appreciate them on purely an aesthetic level. 

Athletes with bodies honed to perfection running faster or jumping higher than everyone else. That’s hardly inspiring. 

If you want true inspiration, look to the Paralympic Games. Participants who are living with a disability that are competing on a world stage. That is ten times as inspiring, but I think they would be lucky to have a tenth of the media coverage.

Scarlett Johansson gets a leg over the help (Let’s hope she doesn’t marry him)

In the movie The Prestige, Scarlett Johansson played the role of her life. She was the slutty little magician’s assistant that slept with both of the feuding illusionists. Role she was meant to play, don’t you think?

I actually like Scarlett. She’s a sexy bombshell and she also has a great work ethic for a twenty-something actress. That is, just turning up is often half the battle for some starlets.

Scarlett was spotted on a yacht off the coast of Sicily last week, sharing a towel and some bodily fluids with her bodyguard.

Scandinavian God Chris Hemsworth ends up with town bike

Chris Hemsworth is well on his way to becoming the next Hugh Jackman. His star power, down-to-earth likeability, not to mention his insane bod, saw him immediately draw millions of fans for life in his breakthrough role as Nordic god, Thor.

I hate to brag, but we do make ‘em nice Down Under.

As well as his good looks and charm, Chris matches Mr Jackman in another department: He recently became a DILF.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Chris must have women (and men) throwing themselves at him. So just how did he end up with the town bike?

Lindsay Lohan found ‘exhausted’ in hotel, world shrugs and moves on

Most starlets’ fans pray that their fave actress will be nominated for an Oscar. Lindsay Lohan’s fans just pray that she makes it through filming a movie without going to jail or dying of a drug overdose.

Lindsay was found unconscious in her hotel room over the weekend, with “exhaustion” cited as the main reason for paramedics rushing to her penthouse suite.

I put “exhaustion” in quotation marks because it has a whiff of Steven Tyler going to rehab for “sore feet”. 

Nipplegate: Madonna flashes boob, parties like it’s 1992

I promised myself I wouldn’t read any spoilers about Madonna’s No Name World Tour, and of course, I failed abysmally. I know what all her outfits are going to look like and one reason why this tour will be talked about for years. I have gleaned about 90 per cent of this tour so far, and when (if) she finally comes to Australia, I will sell my right arm, grandmother and a kidney for front row seats to her gig.

On the evening Madge stopped in Istanbul for this year’s tour, she decided to give the h8rz something to really to talk about. She flashes her tit.